SOUL TV EPISODE 136 Wed 24 June
When You Can't Stop Repeating The Same Mistakes. Do you feel like your life is on replay? Our experts share why you keep repeating mistakes, how to identify patterns when you are and how to stop it! Watch 8pm Wed 24 June www.soultv.com.au
Do we learn from our mistakes? At a cursory glance, for most of us, we would say not. Whether it is in love, health, wealth or some other area in life, we tend to repeat our behaviours over and over with a similar outcome that only gets worse with each repetition. In the words of Professor Julius Sumner Miller. “Why is this so?”
ALL behaviours are learnt and therefore can be unlearnt. Our behaviour is a learnt response to stimulus or lack of stimulus. Those that are learnt before we are 7 have the most profound and long lasting effect on us. The ages between 0-7 are known as the imprint period and we learn at an unprecedented rate during this time. From watching our parents and siblings to all that we see on the TV, hear on the radio, see in the big outside world, and from watching our own response, we take it all in largely unfiltered and literally. How people respond to us during certain times will teach us how to respond the next time it happens etc. It sets us up for how we will behave in all areas of our lives. How we do one thing is usually how we do everything.
The most blatant repeat behaviour we learn that has one of the most profound effects on us physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually is being hooked on need. From the moment we are born good behaviour gets rewarded and bad behaviour gets punished. Bad behaviour can include crying for what seems to be no reason. Good behaviour then in that sense is crying when hurt physically or emotionally. So we learn not to cry at certain times and to cry when we NEED to manipulate someone for whatever reason, even ourselves. We learn to hold things in and never speak of them. We learn to manipulate and we learn to lie to get what we want and believe we deserve or another being or situation deserves. An extreme example of this would be someone who self- harms or harms someone else to get attention. We want to be rewarded, we want to feel needed even at the expense of our own or someone else’s life. We learn to be victims and we learn to blame everyone else for all that happens to us and in our world instead of being able to separate ourselves out and see the part we play.
For the most part we don’t recognise that we are repeating patterns until something major happens or a friend in desperation points it out to us. Do we listen? Mostly not because we are taught all the way through life that making mistakes is a bad thing and bad behaviour gets punished…right? Does our unconscious mind/guidance spiritual as well as physical, try to tell us? Constantly! Either right up front or with messages. We call this the feather, brick, truck theory. Our guidance will send a feather to get our attention, if we ignore that it will send a brick, if we ignore that, we do so at our own peril because the next warning will be the truck and I for one have learnt to not wait for the truck.
Humans learn from either pain or joy and most “choose” to learn from pain. It gets our attention more strongly and faster. Again why is this so? We live in a world where the biggest stick rules. Think about it! We are constantly threatened with a big stick, literally and metaphorically. In actual fact we react this way because we are in constant fear of being disobedient or not measuring up. So we keep making the same mistakes over and over to stay in our unconscious, uncomfortable comfort zone. We wear the discomfort like a badge of honour at times and we won’t shift until we realise the truck is on its way. And even then, sadly some of us won’t listen. Then we become a warning for others. Unfortunately history has shown that we rarely learn from other people’s mistakes. So with that in mind it is very hard for us to “see” our patterns and change them. Only when the same mistake has hit us on the head many times do we want out. Of course there are always exceptions to the rules and these are the people who have learnt how to stop the patterns and can help you as well.
Can repetitious behaviour be caused or at least aided and abetted by an outside energy? Yes it can! Realise though that the energy or entity if you prefer to call it that, will only utilise and enhance your behaviour patterns. Your guidance can be helping you to learn as well and when you have got the message it will aid you to let go of the pattern. In most instances it is very hard to do it for yourself. Especially if the pattern is very strong and has led to ill health of some form either physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. Especially when drugs of any kind are involved because it anchors the behaviour into the unconscious and creates what we call a closed loop circuit which is very hard to get out of by yourself.
There is hope! Yes! We can learn to change our patterns of behaviour very quickly once you have recognised that you need to change and are willing to do so. My work with NLP and in our clinic with Hypnosis does just that. Think of your behaviour as a record. It is a neural pathway in your brain that responds in a certain way every time, a habit. That habit needs to be broken and a new more beneficial one put in place. For example when we are sick we get attention from people who want to look after us, or feel sorry for us. It can get to the point where we become sick and stay that way unconsciously because of our need for attention. In other words we have much more to gain from being sick, it has now become our identity. We use the words” I am sick” to describe ourselves instead of saying “I feel sick.” One is a state of being the other is just a current situation in the process of change.
This is where words become so important. In my MDCC (Multi Dimensional Cellular Clearing) sessions I take clients into a deep meditation where we bypass the conscious mind and talk to the unconscious to sort out why they are behaving the way they do and cannot seem to stop it. Going into pas