• Phoebe and Paul Hoogendyk

How do you make good decisions? Do you feel like you often make bad decisions?

SOUL TV Episode 182

How do you make good decisions? Do you feel like you often make bad decisions? Our experts share processes and ways to make the best decisions for you. Watch 8pm Mon 10 Aug www.soultv.com.au

Making a decision can be a very traumatic thing for some people and a breeze for others. Why this is depends very much on their view of the world and themselves with in it. From a very early age most of us are taught that making mistakes is a bad thing and something to be avoided at all cost. Making mistakes is a stupid thing and being seen as stupid is to be avoided at all cost….right? No it is not! Mistakes are a punishable offence…right? Not unless you intentionally harm someone or something! So to not make a mistake we put off making a decision, become frozen in indecision or the opposite and jump in without any thought, both of which more often than not, turn out to be our biggest mistakes.

Any action will beat non-action: After you have given the consequences of your decision, not only for you but those it will effect as well, some thought! Everything we do has a ripple effect and that is what keeps some of us in a state of non-action. What if? what if? what if? Well if you don’t, you will never find out, you will never grow, you will never learn and you will leave this planet standing in the same spot you were born in.

In reality we can judge decisions as either bad or good but only after the event unless of course you know instinctively that what you are about to do is inappropriate or could be done in a better more productive way. And that leads us to instinct. Your inner knowing, your gut feeling, your intuition will always be your strongest guide as to which way to go. Your intuition will never lead you astray. It knows right from wrong, good from bad. Not only for you but for everyone and everything else. To learn to make the best decisions is all about learning to hone your instincts and intuition. We have all had moments when we have said..”I knew that would happen!” If you knew, why did you not act on it or why did you act on it? More often than not we begin to self-doubt the minute we make a decision and the what if’s come in to take over. When you begin to TRUST your inner knowing you will begin to make more appropriate choices. It takes practise and time to hone this skill so be kind on yourself as you learn and remember that mistakes are learnings not mistakes, just as all decisions are, right or wrong. If we learn we grow!

We also suggest to people that when confused or in doubt do nothing until the way or a way becomes clearer and if you need to find someone who can help you to come to your own clarity….not theirs…then do so. Don’t ever be afraid of making mistakes. For example: when a child learns to walk and they fall over do they see or the parent see falling over as a mistake and expect to punish or be punished for it…no! It’s a leaning and we grow and get better with practise from that. We actually got encouraged to get up and try again until we got it down pat. We got rewarded with our parents praise. So where did it all go wrong. When behaviour that was deemed “naughty or wrong” by an authority figure such as a parent or teacher, was enacted by us which ended in a punishment of some kind. Because punishment instead of guidance happens at such an early age, we learn to be afraid of making mistakes and by adulthood having to make a decision which could have negative consequences, no matter how big or small, brings on paralysis.

Trusting your intuition is how you make better decisions. How do you hone your intuition? Learn to read your body. Learn to be in your head and heart at the same time. If you make a choice based on one or the other it will more often than not lead you astray. True wisdom lies in your head and heart combined. Back to intuition: You will feel somewhere in your body what each decision you want to make will do to every cell within. If it makes you feel good then go for it, if it makes you feel bad, then you stop and re-think. I am not referring to hedonistic (pleasure seeking self-absorbed) pursuits here. Remember to not confuse excitement with fear and learn also to step out of fear of the unknown into excitement of the unknown because guess what, the minute you know it, you no longer fear it. You may now know to keep away or to jump in and that is learning!

Not only will better decision making come from trusting your intuition but it will come from learning to de-stress as well. If your mind is in turmoil you will never make good choices. If you are in a state of inaction then you are in a state of stress and stress is one of the biggest health crisis of our time. To the point where most of us have symptoms of Post - Traumatic Stress Disorder. Step away from your TV and electronic devices for at least a month somewhere in your year, step out into nature, stop and smell whatever flower turns you on and for gosh sakes be kind to yourself and those around you. Eat clean organic food, stay away from processed food as much as you can it will cloud your mind and remember that sugar clouds it faster than anything else. Drink clean filtered water. Fluoride will destroy your thinking ability also despite what others say. It has never been good for anything and will atrophy your brain in time. That is partly why dementia is so rife in our world and children as young as 8 are now suffering with symptoms of old age dementia and diseases.

Then you will begin to make choices and decisions based on your reality and not what you think other people want you to make.

Remember always to bring your heart and mind together, follow their combined advice and live your dreams.

Phoebe and Paul Hoogendyk Ancient Wisdom mentors